Panic Attack

I really think I should just drop out of school and quit trying to finish this...it's just not going to happen...it's too much sacrifice this semester for my family to allow me to do it.

I really just feel like crying...I am all of a sudden just feeling totally overwhelmed and panicky...I keep trying to tell myself I can get ahead, and I can get through this last semester, it's almost over. But the reality is that I am gettng maybe 10 hours of sleep a WEEK, I'm barely eating anything decent any more, and I'm still not getting even caught up - I just keep getting more and more behind. There's always SOMETHING, and then when I finally do have some time to concentrate on school work...well..I'm so tired I can't stay awake any more. I fall asleep sitting at my desk for goodness sake. I'm barely awake when I'm driving to and from class and group meetings, and today I fell asleep on the couch for like 30 min while I was sitting in the living room with Kyleigh! It's getting so insane and I can't keep everything straight in my head any more... Maybe I really should just drop out this semester and try to finish antoher tiem in a few years...it seems to be too much to ask of my family right now. They cannot work out a way to get by without me as much for just a couple more months....as I said, there is always SOMETHING that someone needs me to do first.

I've tried to keep sane by working on things I enjoy that don't require so much concentration or aren't stressful if I'm constantly interrupted during the day when there is too much going on for me to do school work, but that time is getting longer and longer every day..I never have much time that I can work on what really needs to be done - school work. This is the source of huge stress levels for me, and I can't find enough time to even try to relax any more to relieve it. I'm just going in circles....

Sorry to be such a downer today...I needed to just sit for a minute and type as my heart was racing and I was feeling so panic stricken sudenly. I'm tired of feeling guilty for trying to do anything I enjoy because I always have so much school work I'm behind on.....off to make dinner (late) since my husband still isn't home though I expected him a few hours ago. Even if I DO get to go to a hotel tonight, it will be so late again..I'll just end up going to bed!